We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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