okay pat passed out under dana's car
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
