Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
