Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
