I cockslap morals
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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