One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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