There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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