I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
