He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
