But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
