It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
