Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
are you so shy because you have an std?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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