I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
