Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
