Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
