Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
