hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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