Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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