i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
