I hate all girls vehemently.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
