i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
