I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Two words: blizzard sex
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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