just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
