we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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