just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
