Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
