a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
