The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize