I want to have your abortion
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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