and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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