You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize