You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dicks are not precious.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
