i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
