Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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