I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
