one two three fourrrrnication!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
