having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
