Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I know her cup size but not her name....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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