Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize