I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
