Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
