You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
