She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
