If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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