This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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