she woke up with a sticky ear
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
