Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
