why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
