Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
