clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize