That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
