Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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