let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I supernannyed him into submission
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
