I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
