I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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