Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
